Today’s last call involved a fun little mix.  This is not a joke and you cannot make this stuff up.  

We pulled up to a call.  There was a car, with a little Mexican driver.  There was a motorcycle with a rather large caucasian.  It was not an accident, the call came in as an assault.  

I figured we would clear quickly as it didn’t seem that anyone was truly injured or wanting our attention.  Of course I was wrong.  He had to check out the driver of the white car.  He spoke only Spanish.  The firefighters do not speak Spanish.  My partner does not speak Spanish.  So guess who is left to translate?  Oh yea me.

My Spanish is rusty, and usually filled with cuss words and not so PC so it was perfect for the drunk dude. I guess I forgot to mention that.  Anyway, the driver was rapid fire Spanishing about getting hit in the head after an argument with the biker, whom it sounds like that he cut off in traffic.  

Witnesses.  Ugh there are always witnesses to this crap.  They stated that they saw the biker get mad, flip the driver the finger, and that this mini road rage got worse.  The driver stopped in traffic, exited his vehicle and started yelling at the much larger biker.  The biker had dismounted his hog and walked toward the small little man.  The driver poked the biker in the chest.  The biker reportedly hit the driver, full force with a screwdriver.  

Most bikers that I know don’t normally thump lil annoying drunk driver with screwdrivers.  There are usually better methods for getting your thoughts across.  There seemed to be a discrepancy.  

I realized that for the first time in my career or life, I was going to ask in Spanish “Did he hit you in the head with a screwdriver.”  It suddenly hits me, I don’t know the word for screwdriver. So I ask the fine drunk.  

“Como se dice “screwdriver” 

Without a pause he says to me IN PERFECT ENGLISH

‘Orange Juice and Vodka, but I drank beer.”

I couldn’t stop laughing, but I did regain some composure.  Ok guys, he’s fine, it probably wasn’t a screwdriver, and I think we can let PD sort this crap out.


About burnedoutmedic

I am a full time paramedic working in a 911 system. Vegas baby. A dry sense of humor, and no writing skills

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  1. […] Como se dice “screwdriver” ( […]

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